"Not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."

Saturday, June 7

"Thank you teacher"

Between my last blog and now, I blinked a few times and it was over. A week, 2 (observed) lessons and an armful of classes later, here I am...the weekend! Taking the advice of those that have come before me and taking some time away from my work for some of the weekend. A few of us went into the city today. Got a massage (yep...correctional facility!) did some washing, and found the best store (thanks to Jane) ever. It's called Tesco...and I guess it's comparative to a Walmart or super target. I got some "teacher clothes" (those are kinda like airplane clothes ;) ) and genuinely enjoyed shopping for them!

As for the week. It's been amazing. It's been challenging, exhausting and terrifying. Classes aren't quite as tedious as I expected and it's more "controlled free thinking" with the other trainees that anything else. And the day is well broken up with "tea and biscuit" breaks and meals...which will start to show on this body very soon if I don't watch myself (portions here are crazy big...3 times a day). I taught on Wednesday and Friday...both times I was so nervous I was nearly sick to my stomach...but both times I did great...and I've already come to love it. I'm shocked that I'm able to forget the fact that I've being observed (by peers and my trainer) and just 'do my thing'. I get so nervous on my "teaching days" that I have to play with my pocket knife to keep my hands from shaking (hmmm...prolly not the best idea!)...but I also get so damn excited. Everyday this week, I've woken up with the feeling that I'm absolutely living this life to the fullest...which is an amazing feeling. The work load is definitely doable...but it's non-stop. I have less time to procrastinate here then I did in college. I think it definitely adds to it that others are counting on me...so if nothing else, I owe it to my class to be prepared. I literally work from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed...and I love that right now. Apparently week 3 gets really tough...so if I'm complaining then , remind me of this blog! I don't know if I'm "in my element" while I'm teaching or if it's just the newness feeling...but either way, I absolutely love it. I feel like I'm transported when I'm up there and there is something about it that makes every inch of my being smile. Any uncertainies I had about coming here, any feelings of uneasyness or loneliness have been replaced by so many other feelings....and the sound of "thank you teacher" followed by lots of thai smiles reminds me that this is one of the best decisions I've made. Obviously, I have no idea where I go from here and I'm still taking it 1 day at a time....but I just thought I'd spread my happiness along...how ever short or long lived it may be! But for now, in the words of one Kenny Chesney, I feel like I'm french kissing life!

As for my fellow trainees, we've all bonded...even if we may not necessarily 'hang out' outside of here. It's a very supportive environment and everyone is rooting for each other. There are MANY different ways of thinking...which can get frustrating at times. Especially since the majority of things are group activites...but I know that is just preparing us to work with others (perhaps future collegues or bosses) who may not necessarily see eye to eye with us. We eat together, live together, school together, and have to criticize and encourage each other...it's challenging at times but uplifting at others.

That's all for now! I think I've had my share of "no work" time today and have to get back to it! Love to all.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Nell

This has been so uplifting for me as I am quite certain any parent would feel. At this moment, I can lift my head high and say..."Thank you, God...mission accomplished." For all we want as parents is for our miracles to achieve independence and happiness.
Bottle that moment you spoke of and tuck it away in your memory for a time that you'll need it...and there it will be just a memory away.

I love you and miss you.

Mom

Anonymous said...

janelle, so far i'm blown away by all you've done! you never cease to amaze me and those kids are lucky to have you :) i hope you can make it over to melbourne once you have a better idea of what your life will be like. i miss and love you!! -Jules

Unknown said...

BIIIG :)

A said...

my tummy still feels like yuck sometimes before i get up in front of a class, but that feeling melts away along with anything that is going wrong within a few seconds of being up there....turns out that feeling is how i knew i was on the right path in my lil life....perhaps you've found what you're supposed to do as well...smiles bud - a

Anonymous said...

Jazoo,

Seems like you found your calling! Who knows? Maybe we will teach together one day! :) There's trouble! I'm glad to hear it's going well.

Love,
Katy